“April is the cruelest month”

- T.S. Eliot, renowned poet, maybe guy who also got his wisdom teeth out in April.

 Wisdom teeth are out and T.S. Eliot is in. Welcome to The Taste Land, a post-molar landscape of soft foods.

It feels justified, reducing one of the most important poems of the 20th century and a central work of modernist poetry, per Wikipedia, to a pun, and a musing on my own oral surgery, because in fact it is April, the aforementioned cruel month, and Eliot references teeth more than once in a way that I find compelling and fitting for the current situation.

He’ll want to know what you done with that money he gave you/To get yourself some teeth. He did, I was/there./You have them all out…

and

Dead mountain mouth of carious teeth/that cannot spit

So I, the typist home at teatime, clears [my]/ breakfast, lights/[my] stove, and lays out food in tins. Or rather small dishes.

Tea, which is the only item here actually mentioned in The Waste Land, an assortment of veggie soups for nutrients, yogurt for ease of consistency and doctor recommended probiotics, mashed potatoes, a classic, pudding, because I must have dessert, and oatmeal, which I am building up to because I worry it’s too grainy and chewy for my tender mouth right now. I will show you fear in a handful of [oats].

And a of course a healthy dose of very strong pain killers (used cautiously and as directed!).

The oatmeal and pudding put to good use my almond and cashew milk from milk and honey. The pudding didn’t quite set right, but soupy chocolate pudding is fine by me.  

To my great relief, suffering and swelling have been minimal; to my great regret, I didn’t get to see the pulled teeth. In the recovery room I asked for a morbid peek, but it was too late, the four foes had already been disposed of.

In lieu of a recipe, a suggested playlist for wisdom teeth extraction

Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse - Of Monteal - to encourage the nitrous oxide to take full effect.

Novacane - Frank Ocean - Novocaine, baby.

Crooked Teeth - Deathcab for Cutie - because they are.

Mouthwash - Kate Nash - obviously part of a theme of oral care.

I’m a Cukoo - Belle & Sebastian - because you should be a little pleasantly cuckoo while they’re drilling.

Simple Song - The Shins - to remind you you sure must be strong, and you feel like an ocean being warmed by the sun, not like someone who is having their teeth ripped out.

Shallow - Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper - because you paid little attention when A Star is Born came out, but the night before surgery you decide you’re pretty into this song.

Better - Regina Spektor - because you will feel better after this.

Stars - Les Miserables - cause how good is this song?

That should get you through the extraction of four teeth, but add a few cool down songs as you like to make sure the playlist sees you through the recovery room.